Monday, September 12, 2011

Some home remodel projects require stealth. It's just the way it is.

Loraine at Breakfast 4 Dinner encounters what many of us have encountered before: a husband that can't get with our DIY program.   He can't see our vision, he can't understand our concept... so sometimes we just go ahead and do it.  
Then, lo and behold! He gets it... He likes it... He's happy we did it.  (Until the next time when he forgets that we know what we're doing and we go through the same song and dance again...)
Loraine wrote up a funny post about how she started to re-do some counter tops, thinking she had hours to complete the project, but her husband decided to come home early.  She got not one, but two snarky comments doling out criticism and marital advice.

Anonymous #1 said...
So....... you did some remodeling without discussing it with your husband purposely and lied about it. Yeah.... if I was your husband I would consider whether or not I would leave you. Who knows what other kinds of huge decisions you would make behind my back. There would be a lack of trust regardless if he liked the outcome or not. Communication and trust are very important factors in having a successful marriage.
Anonymous #2 said...
You shouldn't have to hide stuff unless you know it is wrong or a surprise because you care or love the person.

Our Slammed Blogger says:

Wow anonymous, Thanks you so much for the most awesome marriage advice. But I shouldn't take advice from some one that would be so quick to divorce.  Now here is some for you:
1.Don't jump to judgment or conclusions.

2. Research before you leave such a hate-full comment.
You obviously aren't familiar with my blog at all. If you had taken the time to scroll down to some of my other postings to learn a little more about me, you would soon figure out that my husband is a very, very easy going guy and likes my home remodeling projects and that he doesn't require me to consult him before I start one because 

  • a.He totally trusts my judgment
  • b.Because I don't require him to help me with them at all
  • c.Because he knows that I start projects spontaneously. 
He knew that before we got married and that is one of the things loves about me. I get an idea in my head and within 5 minutes I have the power tools out.  As a matter of fact, he wouldn't have it any other way because he loves it when I am happy. And yes, I did do a home remodeling project without telling him because of the reasons above. The reason I hid everything from him is yes, because I wanted to surprise him with the finished project. Not come home to a mess in the kitchen with no counter tops because I love him and want him to be able to come home and relax without having to smell stinky wood varnish.

3. Please call your mother and ask her why she forgot to teach you manners.
By the way....I finished the counter tops today and My husband loves them and took the old ones out to the curb for me and finished cooking dinner so I could finish up one last coat of paint.
It's good that I'm not married to you because I would have a very hard time dealing with a very rude control freak of a spouse that I'm sure you are. If you're even married at all.

Viv says:
Loraine clearly said it all regarding the anonymous comments, but I am cracking up over the hypocrisy contained in them! 
Anonymous comment #1 touts communication and trust as highly important in a relationship, yet would advocate leaving a spouse without getting the full story. (In other words, Anonymous' spouse probably lives in constant fear that they'll leave over some  misunderstanding.)
Anonymous comment #2 says you should only hide things if you know it's wrong, or if you're planning a surprise party.  (In other words, it's OK to do The Wrong Thing if you hide it.  Accountability is for suckers.)  Nice.
(By the way.  Who doesn't love the occasional omelette or stack of pancakes for dinner!?)

Mandi says:
Gosh you two already said it all!  As I was reading the first anonymous comment the thought I had was, oh poor girl.  Her husband is one of those freaky types that like to have a say in stuff....She must not be a DIY blogger.  Hee hee hee
And as for #2 if you were cheating on your husband and he caught you and you said SURPRISE!  Does that mean that its all good in the hood? 

I also just need to profess my love for anonymous commenters.  You make my life so happy and full of laughter.  Thank you and keep it up meanies!

What do you say?


Kerry Rossow said...

Anonymous clearly has more problems than a math book!
Kerry at

skye @ neathering our fest said...

I think the most hilarious thing about this particular one is that the trolls never left! they continued to bash on her like complete idiots. what a huge waste of time. they must have absolutely nothing else to do except bash on people's hard work all day. geez.

Mary said...

So I went to the blog post. I'm scared that there are people like anonymous. They make me whimper in a corner and want to give up on life.

Ann Marie | white house, black shutters said...

I got a good laugh out of reading the rest of the comments on that post, so thanks Anonymous!

I can completely empathize with Loraine. My husband is almost as DIY as I am and maybe almost as stubborn as I am. If he walked in one day to new counters - "oh wow, sweetie. They look great. Nice job." If we waited three years to get the granite counters HE wanted, it'd be all "oh - that was a big job. Maybe your idea would have looked better."

She saved him the time and effort of having to worry about the countertops and he'll probably thank her. That is, if anonymous doesn't call him up and foil her plan. Good luck, Loraine!!

sarajo said...

OMG! The rest of the comments are crazy! Who ever this person is really has no life. Why, people? Why?

Judy C said...

I'm flummoxed. Do I need to consult someone else every time I do something in the house? I thought that since I am an adult I could make decisions without a second-guesser around. And I also thought as an adult that nobody, and I mean nobody, who doesn't know me is allowed to say mean things about me. What a shock it is to see that there are so many mean-spirited people out there.

Mrs.D said...

I'm not believing the rest of the comments that person posted. That's insane. Clearly that person has some issues.

Pam@OurAdventuresInHomeImprovement said...

I love that the anonymous writer writes about being up front with her husband; however leaves anonymous comments on blogs. Hmmm...

Good for Loraine to come back swinging in her reply! :)


Loraine said...

I would like to thank everyone for the nice comments that I am receiving and seeing on here. What a complete 180 this is. I really appreciate all the support and to Mandi and Viv- you guys rock!

Impulsive Addict said...

Every time I come over here, I think that the cattiness and hatefulness won't top what I've already seen but IT DOES! Who ARE these anonymous people???!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow. Lol. Did you not see that anon posted that they were A. I. T. ... Anon internet troll = A. I. T. You lost. Trolls just like to get people's panties all twisted in a knot for giggles. By posting the whole stink up here has only made the joke more hilarious for them. Now they have two blogs of ladies to laugh at.

All you had to do was just ignore it. But instead she immediately drew attention to it by making another post about it. The very first negative comment and she flips out over it. Dramatic much? It makes me think she did it on purpose to get her site on here so it will get promoted. It sure looks like that worked. SMH. The other half of me thinks she is just really that immature. Yes. Immature.

She argued with a troll for a few posts. Then when she lost the argument, she just did some immature name calling and people actually said she had good character and held her own?! She is a mom. Is that really an example you want to set for your kids?

I am actually appalled by all of this. The fact that this blog exist and the blogger's comment on the breakfast blog. She said she is a SAHM and her husband works to provide for his family so she can stay at home. Being the solo income provider is not easy just the same as being a mother isn't easy. He should have a say of what happens to the house that he is paying for. The troll actually had a good point. It was dishonest and deceitful. How would you feel if you husbands took all of your pants and cut them into shorts without telling you at all and covered it up when you went into the closet because he thought it would of been better in his own opinion? Even if you ended up loving it there would be some hurt feelings since he acted without consulting you. I can't believe that so many women were so quick to defend her behavior. You all could of learned something from this but instead it was turned into a freak show. There is no wonder the divorce rate is so high when so many women behave as if their opinions were the only ones that mattered in a marriage. I am not saying men are not at fault by any means but I expect more from women. We are moms, our children learn from us and look up to us, what have they learned from this. To lie and do your own thing without any regard to the other party. And yes she did teach that to her kids by having them participate in the 'let's hide the evidence from daddy' charade.

How sad is that a anon internet troll who is most likely a group of giggling 14 year olds actually had a good point. It is a shame everyone was too caught up in the drama to see it.

Taking a look a the rest of this blog makes me think the whole blogging experience is nothing but a bunch of dramatic women sinking down to the levels of the people who post the hate mail by even giving it a time of day let alone giving it more attention on this blog. This is not where hate mail comes to die this is where you come to spread the drama. If she just ignored it, it never wouldn't of gotten so big. All of it. Looking at all of these posts on this blog, all of that could of been avoided if the hate mail receivers were the bigger person and ignored it. Isn't that what we tell our children when they are bullied to turn the other cheek? Heck isn't that even in the bible? Just turn your back on it and don't drag yourself down to their level.

Come on ladies we are better than that.

Mary said...

Hate mail got hate's the circle of life.

Anonymous said...

I'm new to your blog---OMG! What dramma! But I admit, I laughed pretty good--and have sent someone the link!

--I l-o-v-e Kerry's comment that anon "has more problems than a math book!"
--"VoiceofReason" lost all "reason" from her 4th paragraph on.
--But Mary ended it perfectly with, "Hate mail...and the circle of life!"

What a fun-ny blog! I hope I NEVER any posts to contribute!

Kitty said...

I'll keep it short and sweet. Anonymous = no balls

If you're going to write it...sign it or move on!


Hardy said...

Nah, don't mind those anonymous hate comments. Giving surprises to a person really makes the heart grow fonder. After all, Lorraine did a great part as a loving wife to her husband: becoming a handywoman for a day.

Hardy Coufal

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Ashley said...

The Slammed Bloggers response to this one had me laughing out loud and my littles staring in wonder. I just found this blog and I LOVE IT!!! Best part of my day

Stephanie Lewis said...

First I would like to Thank you for all the advice and ideas I found on this blog it helped me a lot.

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Lesley at Fabulously Flawed said...

Have you seen this post since then? The anonymous commenter came back for blood! She left dozens of comments attacking so many aspects of Loraine's life.
Shameful, really.