The lovely Jennifer, who writes Sunshine and Chaucer knows herself pretty well. She's a young newlywed, and at this stage of her life... she and her husband have basically decided that they don't want to be parents. No biggie, right? She likes children... works with children... loves her nieces... just has decided that she isn't cut out to be a mom.
She's able to be honest with herself, which is pretty smart, and she was honest on a blog, which was pretty brave.
Jennifer read this post on Stitched In Color. Readers were asked to leave a comment telling what bothers them. Jennifer was comment 170 of more than 400. In a nutshell, she said it bothered her when people try to talk her into having children and that they think she is somehow defective for not wanting kids.
Several days later, Jennifer wrote this post featuring great projects she had seen around the blogosphere. It included a beautiful, functional play-room. Clearly, she had offended someone with her comment on another blog, so they came to her blog to spread the hate.
The Hater Said:
As if someone so against having children would have one iota of a clue where children want to play. Selfish twit.
The Slammed Blogger Says:
1. I'm not against everyone having children, just don't want any right now. I'm 22. I just got married. I'm super poor. Also, kids are great and all but I can't be around the for more than a day at a time or I start going crazy.
2. That has nothing to do with knowing what fun stuff for kids is and isn't. I was a kid. I have nieces. I am two classes away from a degree in early childhood development. I nanny. I know what cool crap is.
3. Iota? Using a word typically used by people trying to sound smart doesn't make your comment more classy.
4. I've never got the whole "not wanting kids = selfish" thing. Why is it better to have kids when you don't want them? Why is it better to bring kids into a world where you can't provide for them? Why is it better to make yourself unhappy so you can create a life that won't be sad if it never exists because it won't know the difference? I don't get it.
I could say meaner things, about how pathetic I think you are because you went through all that trouble to leave a rude comment, because clearly my not wanting to have children deeply affects you personally. But I prefer to keep the four letters words off the blog, because I don't think it's classy to cuss in a public forum in front of people you don't know, and also because
I'm just so thrilled that my blog is worth a rude anonymous comment (and that I have something to submit to My Favorite Hate Mail) that I can't get myself to be hurt or offended. I could not, however, resist commemorating it with it's own response. I'd have emailed it privately, but losers don't leave emails when they have something rude to say.
The extremely happily childfree Jennifer.
Jennifer, you are my hero. It takes great strength of character to do what is right for you, even if it flies in the face of society's conventions. (You know, that ALL women want to be mothers... etc.)
There are definitely people out there who should not be allowed to have a pet rock, let alone have children. It's sad that the commenter has more respect for crappy parents who should NEVER have had children, than she does for a woman who recognizes her strengths and her limitations bases her important decisions accordingly.
(I'm still shaking my head at this. Seriously! Unbelievable!)
Can someone say STALKER? The amount of time that peope have on their hands and the way they waste it never ceases to amaze me. Miss Jennifer has all the right in the world to decide if she does or does not want children. Cause once you got 'em there is no getting rid of 'em. Its like people choosing to not have a dog. Or a husband. Speaking of which, does anyone want mine? Dog that is, I like my husband.
What Do You Say?