Let there be light! (As long as the electrician is a woman...)

OK, so check out this amazing Anthropologie-inspired glass ornament chandelier.
Breann and Hillary are co-writing this brand new (and really fabulous) blog called Things We Fancy.
You know what they don't fancy...? That their 2-week old blog that already has a Hater. Seriously? Oy.

Anonymous was unclear about where, exactly, the light source came from in this post....
Yep, the other commenters are right -- this says nothing about where the light actually comes from! To me, it looks like there is one light bulb connected to a simple light fixture, which is wired up to the "light wire" (the electrical wire that sticks out of your ceiling when you remove your old light fixture). I understand she is clueless about "man things"... but COME ON! There is all sorts of information on the internet about how to do it. Don't be helpless. And at least tell your poor readers where the light is coming from! (e.g., it's not coming from Christmas lights inside of each ornament.)

As a woman and a crafter, I resent this stereotypical helplessness!

Our Slammed Bloggers Say:
Oh, Hey ANONYMOUS! Nice of you to stop by with your cynicism. We're actually pretty impressed that our blog has been live for less than 2 weeks and we already got a rude anonymous comment! Looks like we're doing something right!

You're right, we should have been a little more clear as to the light fixture in the chandelier. However, if you weren't such a jerk, you'd see in the above comments we explained where the light was coming from to our "poor readers." They were also followed up via e-mail.... that CLEARLY makes them super unfortunate.

Yes, we could have EASILY looked up some YouTube video on how to install a light wire, but what's the point if you already have someone there who knows how to do it?! If your husband was a mechanic and you had a blown transmission, would you go take classes on how to fix it yourself? No, because that's freaking dumb. You're right though, asking a husband to install a wire because he knows how and I don't want to electrocute myself makes me totally helpless.

As women and crafters, we resent your stereotypical anonymous comment!

Viv Says:
Perhaps Anonymous needs more than one light bulb to read by...? Because it was clear to me in the text of the post that there is one wire/one light bulb illuminating the chandy. (And let's say i didn't read it 2 gud: there's a pitchur of a single bulb in the middle a'that cluster o' or-nam-nets...) Perhaps negativity impairs your vision?

Additionally, it seemed pretty obvious that the line about "asking a man for help" was pretty tongue in cheek. These gals seem far from helpless. Poking around their newly formed blog, I can tell that I will be a frequent visitor due to their innovation, inspiration and utter lack of Helpless Female Syndrome.

Anonymous? As a woman and a crafter, I resent that you let your snarky, holier than thou, Gloria Steinem-ish nature take over and tried to tear down other women, rather than support them. So much for us girls trying to stick together. Boo to you.

Mandi Says:
What. The Crap.  You know what I think this is?  I think this is a case of "Someone got to a project before I could"-itis. Which is the technical term when seeing a really great knockoff project that you had on your 15 mile long to do list, and being jerkish and lashing out that someone made it before you did.  This projects is super cool and CLEARLY you can tell that there is just one light bulb in it...let me refresh your memory:

Yup pretty sure they aren't all filled with Christmas lights...

What do You say?

I like your blog! (But you are stupid and careless...)

Our friend Ashley at Cherished Bliss had a reader who didn't just leave her a comment... this reader went out of her way to fill out Ashley's contact form and email her directly.


The Kooky Emailer:
Subject: like your blog

What interests you the most?: Tutorials, Recipes, Shopping
Message: I like your blog...you have some fun and original ideas.
But, please please please learn to spell correctly, and use proper grammar and punctuation...maybe a writing class at a communiy college...it would make your blog so much more enjoyable to read.


Ashley Says:
Seriously... she's attacking my PUNCTUATION when her email clearly is not properly punctuated.  While I love to use the infamous "..."  they are not grammatically correct, I know that and so does she, but she still uses them!!  
So I replied to her email and wrote:

It's a blog, not a book. Before you write somebody about proper grammer, you might consider using it in your own paragraph.

Thank you,
Ashley

She wrote back again!

True...it is a blog and not a book...but you sound stupid and careless when you post and words are spelled incorrectly. I know it is fun to lash out when you have been criticized ...but, I'm right...
I'm sure I do have misspelled words and grammatical errors, I would like to know if she writes blog posts with a toddler screaming and a one year old pulling on her arm! It's a miracle I type posts up sometimes. If I was writing a blog on the English language I might put a little more thought in to it! 


Viv Says:
Wow.  Shouldn't there be commas in between all of those pleases?   
What the heck is a communiy college?  
You know what else sounds stupid and careless?  Contacting someone on the pretense of paying them a compliment, but really using it as a springboard to start criticizing.    It's also stupid and careless put your foot in your mouth and then try to get a splinter out of someone's eye.  When you fall over, all you do is shove the plank further into your own eye.  Owwie.
I am a huge fan of the ellipsis (...) and just can't help myself...


Mandi Says:
No.  Really?  So super unecessary people.  I think that it is 100 times more tacky to start a critique that is rude with a compliment.  If you are going to take the time to compliment someone then you can take the time to make your criticism constructive.  The end. If the original email wasnt supposed to have a harsh tone when the hater wrote back she should have said something like "Ashley I really do love your blog.  I know that you take a lot of time on each post and I just have your best interest at heart."  Instead of freaking out.  The end....again.


What do you say?

Haters that pin things on Pinterest? Whaaat...!?

Something we at My Favorite Hate Mail didn't think about when we started this blog was the potential for mean comments to show up on Pinterest!


Julie from It's Sew Stinkin' Cute threw an adorable Micky Mouse Chef birthday party for her 3 year old daughter.  Pictures of the party were ultimately pinned to Pinterest boards.


The comment:
"Uneccessary should be the theme of the party :)" 
 Another comment, in response to the first
"hahaha I know but its sooo cute"


What Julie said: 
She responded with a link to this picture...

Hope you are having a good weekend. I am sorry that you don't appreciate my love of crafts and parties. Regardless of your comment thank you for pinning this and looking at my blog. Have a great school year! 


What Julie wanted to say:
Why did you feel the need to pin it under your Birthday Parties board if you felt it so "unnecessary". If you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all, you're obviously jealous that you can't create cute things from scratch like me. Oh, and did you realize you spelled "Unecessary" incorrectly? If you're going to hate, at least spell your hate mail correctly.  So to all of the haters that think just because you put a smiley face on the end of a tacky comment it makes it better... you're wrong, it is still tacky, rude and inconsiderate. 


Viv says:
Wow. I don't understand why someone would pin something to an inspiration board if they didn't like it.  So basically, if anything is unnecessary, it would be this lame person who spends time on Pinterest, pinning things they don't like.  Life is too short to pin things that you don't like.  

Also? All birthday parties, holidays, celebrations, etc are technically "unnecessary"  but we have them anyway.  We put love into the details because we care about the people we are do it all for. Duh.  How much would it suck to only live your life in a way that was necessary...?


Mandi says:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The haters are corrupting the beautiful time suck that is Pinterest?!?!  What is this world coming to?  Yes, birthday parties are unnecessary but so are pants.  You still wear pants don't you?  Also if you don't throw your kid a birthday party you have mom guilt for an entire year about it. (Trust me I know first hand).  Yay for Julie and her cute party and meanies...pin this.

And for the rest of you:

What do you say?

Some home remodel projects require stealth. It's just the way it is.

Loraine at Breakfast 4 Dinner encounters what many of us have encountered before: a husband that can't get with our DIY program.   He can't see our vision, he can't understand our concept... so sometimes we just go ahead and do it.  
Then, lo and behold! He gets it... He likes it... He's happy we did it.  (Until the next time when he forgets that we know what we're doing and we go through the same song and dance again...)
Loraine wrote up a funny post about how she started to re-do some counter tops, thinking she had hours to complete the project, but her husband decided to come home early.  She got not one, but two snarky comments doling out criticism and marital advice.

Anonymous #1 said...

So....... you did some remodeling without discussing it with your husband purposely and lied about it. Yeah.... if I was your husband I would consider whether or not I would leave you. Who knows what other kinds of huge decisions you would make behind my back. There would be a lack of trust regardless if he liked the outcome or not. Communication and trust are very important factors in having a successful marriage.

Anonymous #2 said...

You shouldn't have to hide stuff unless you know it is wrong or a surprise because you care or love the person.

Our Slammed Blogger says:

Wow anonymous, Thanks you so much for the most awesome marriage advice. But I shouldn't take advice from some one that would be so quick to divorce.  Now here is some for you:

1.Don't jump to judgment or conclusions.

2. Research before you leave such a hate-full comment.
You obviously aren't familiar with my blog at all. If you had taken the time to scroll down to some of my other postings to learn a little more about me, you would soon figure out that my husband is a very, very easy going guy and likes my home remodeling projects and that he doesn't require me to consult him before I start one because 

• a.He totally trusts my judgment
• b.Because I don't require him to help me with them at all
• c.Because he knows that I start projects spontaneously. 

He knew that before we got married and that is one of the things loves about me. I get an idea in my head and within 5 minutes I have the power tools out.  As a matter of fact, he wouldn't have it any other way because he loves it when I am happy. And yes, I did do a home remodeling project without telling him because of the reasons above. The reason I hid everything from him is yes, because I wanted to surprise him with the finished project. Not come home to a mess in the kitchen with no counter tops because I love him and want him to be able to come home and relax without having to smell stinky wood varnish.

3. Please call your mother and ask her why she forgot to teach you manners.

By the way....I finished the counter tops today and My husband loves them and took the old ones out to the curb for me and finished cooking dinner so I could finish up one last coat of paint.

It's good that I'm not married to you because I would have a very hard time dealing with a very rude control freak of a spouse that I'm sure you are. If you're even married at all.

Viv says:
Loraine clearly said it all regarding the anonymous comments, but I am cracking up over the hypocrisy contained in them! 

Anonymous comment #1 touts communication and trust as highly important in a relationship, yet would advocate leaving a spouse without getting the full story. (In other words, Anonymous' spouse probably lives in constant fear that they'll leave over some  misunderstanding.)

Anonymous comment #2 says you should only hide things if you know it's wrong, or if you're planning a surprise party.  (In other words, it's OK to do The Wrong Thing if you hide it.  Accountability is for suckers.)  Nice.

(By the way.  Who doesn't love the occasional omelette or stack of pancakes for dinner!?)

Mandi says:

Gosh you two already said it all!  As I was reading the first anonymous comment the thought I had was, oh poor girl.  Her husband is one of those freaky types that like to have a say in stuff....She must not be a DIY blogger.  Hee hee hee
And as for #2 if you were cheating on your husband and he caught you and you said SURPRISE!  Does that mean that its all good in the hood? 

I also just need to profess my love for anonymous commenters.  You make my life so happy and full of laughter.  Thank you and keep it up meanies!

What do you say?

The Anti-Social Quilt Project

Amber at Quilted Euphoria wrote up this post where she described how and why she made this tongue in cheek, cute little sign regarding unexpected visitors.

She received the following Anonymous comment:

I feel it's offensive and passive agressive behavior. Have you ever said, "I know you took the time to come to see me/us, but I just don't want any company today. Maybe you could call me tomorrow and we'll set up a time to get together." It's truthful, kind, and handled in a mature way. You, and many others, may find it funny but I doubt you'd feel that way if someone hung that on their door and you dropped by to say "hi." But as they say, "opinions are like noses...everybody has one." 

Amber says:

Um...excuse me? So many things wrong with this person! Let's count them, shall we?

1. This is my blog, my home, and my sign. If you don't like what it says, you're welcome to leave.
2. Sometimes people just don't respond to "nice". Sometimes you just can't get the person to leave, without being "passive aggressive".
3. Guess what? I think it's funny and so do the seventeen comments before yours from people with an actual sense of humor.
4. Get a life.

Viv says:

I've seen a similar sign for sale in Hallmark.  I had no idea that Hallmark was offensive and passive aggressive.  Who knew?!

Mandi says:

As Michelle on Full House would say "Oh Puuuleeeeeeeeeze."  I never answer my door (well, since the paparazzi started camping out on my lawn).  I thought the sign was funny.  Its her house she can do what she wants (duh).  Just like you Miss Anonymous can put up a sign on your front door that says "Caution, enter at your own risk.  I am perfect and am probably going to judge the crap out of you.  I am also chicken pants and dont usuallyre attach my name to my critiques, so I probably wont say it to your face but to everyone else in the neighborhoood.  Consider yourself warned"

What do you say?

Oooooh! Mandi's Got A Hater!

Hey Everyone!! Mandi here.
So here is deal.  Anonymous comments are freakin LAME.  We all know this right? But the most annoying ones are the ones that are written out of complete and utter spite.  I just wrote a post about 10 Bloggy No No's that I have had to learn from during my time blogging.  And pretty quickly recieved this comment:

Anonymous said...

Love how you say not to be negative when you are pointing out everything everyone else is doing wrong. And yeah, I am breaking one of your "rules" leaving an anonymous comment.

Mandi Says:
Whoa whoa whoa.  Slow the crazy train down and pull it into the Station-o-Common Sense. First off, let me just say my dear, that if you were trying to make me feel bad, you sorta were not awesome at it...womp womp. 
Secondly, the post was not a list of “rules” nor was it written negatively.  You must have overlooked the first line of the post, where I preface it by saying that most of these mistakes are ones that I have made MYSELF.  You also must have missed the part at the end where I warned that any rude comments could end up on Hate Mail, so by leaving me a rude, anonymous comment, you've made yourself the Guest of Honor today.  Enjoy your 15 seconds of fame lady!
I love blogging and I love my readers, so the point that you are CLEARLY missing (that everyone else seemed to get), is that I am trying to share what I have learned so that others don’t make the same mistakes that I have.  This in turn, helps to make my amazing readers' blogs more successful. Please explain to me how that can at all be considered "negative."
Most people are able to resist the urge to be mean or spiteful. You know, knowing that with a little bit of self control (or by simply leaving someones blog) that the negative feelings they have inside wont get wiped up and down blogland like a cruddy diaper.  Since you my dear must not have these flair up sensors, I gladly invite you to spend your time online elsewhere and let Vintage Revivals be a place of positive spray paint fumes.  

p.s. I think you might be allergic to my happiness. (You might want to get that checked...along with the flair up issue. Its no bueno.)

I would also like to thank the readers that stood up for me in the comments, it means a lot ladies!

Viv Says:
Um, so I'm clear... pointing out the proper (or more favorable way to do something) is negative...?  
I only lather my hair once during a shampoo... but the shampoo bottles all say to "lather, rinse, repeat"  are the shampoo companies negative?   If the furniture refinishing experts point out you should lightly sand between coats, but I never do?  Does that make the experts negative..?
Mandi gave some guidelines. She outlined things that she has observed in her own personal blogging experience.  (Which so far appears to be pretty successful, btw. I'd give her a listen when she hands out advice.)   There is no Blogger's 101... no Blogger By-Laws... you learn by experience, watching what other bloggers do or don't do.    She shared, people.  And if you read through the rest of the comments on that post, you'll notice that there are bloggers who didn't know they could enable their email for replies... people who didn't realize that their word verification option was enabled and/or how to change the option... people who didn't know there are many readers out there who actually don't like music playing on a blog... In other words? They appreciated Mandi's help.
My guess is that anonymous does all of these "no-nos"  and is either a) a misguided rebel; b) has serious issues with constructive criticism; or c) is just lame.
Or possibly, d) all of the above...

What do you say?

Today's special! Mean comments and tampons!

Heather is a college student and has a fun little personal blog called The World Is Your Oyster.  A while back, she wrote a post about a funny incident at a local store.  She needed a few, um, personal items including {tampons... shhh}. She wrote this post, appropriately titled Awkward,  about the experience.  She tried to make it clear that it was not her first time buying tampons, and that normally it's not a big deal, but this time  she had to select the right feminine hygiene product in the middle of 6 guys that live in the same building that she does.  She just thought it was funny, how uncomfortable a box of feminine hygiene products can make college-aged boys.


You know what?  Even with a funny, tongue in cheek post, there are still jerkwads out there.


The Jerkwad said:
"Educated decision in the tampon aisle eh? have you never bought them
for yourself before? you've been living away from home for three years
at BYU and you still have to think about this decision? Hhhonestly,
your life could be a lot simpler. Let me offer a humble suggestion to
your predicament.http://www.us.depend.com/

Yours,
Anonymous
P.S. You're welcome"


Heather said:
My sister's reply was my favorite. She said:
"Dear Anonymous,

Don't worry, I'm sure they have Midol in the Creamery as well. You seem to have lost yours, since you've been PMSing all over the internet."


Viv says:
Seriously?  Who leaves a cruddy comment on a funny story?  I love the sister's reply about "PMSing all over the internet." Hilarious.  The link for Depends kind of throws me though.  Are they saying Heather is being a cry-baby...?  That she should use Depends instead of tampons...?  What?  Perhaps the Jerkwad is a guy an needs to brush up on his knowledge of a woman's anatomy...?  At any rate, totally sounds like a person with chronic, raging PMS to me..


Mandi says:
LOL! Now THIS is a funny post. I dont get the depends link either...maybe thats the only way this lady can control her PMSing?  And poor cute Heather, I dare say that most guys in college especially when there are 6 together can be unbelievibly immature, it would be awkward for anyone!!  Hee hee hee, I am still laughing about this!   I am so glad that Jerky McJerkface left a jerky jerk comment so that we could read Heather's hilarious tale.

Ps I just used the word jerk 4 times in one sentence! Yay Me!!



What do you say?

The racist dumpling.

Emily from Decor Chick is one of our favorite bloggers.  She's always sharing some fantastic home decor or DIY tips with her readers.  In this post, she shared how happy and excited she was that her brother was getting married.  Her new sister-in-law, whom Emily adores, is Japanese.  Emily ended her post saying that she sees "a lot of homemade dumplings in my future. :)"


A comment from Anonymous:
dumplings? isn’t that kind of racist?


Decor Chick says:
Racist? Ummm, not so much. Doesn’t great chinese food come from the Chinese/China? And doesn’t great Italian food come from Italy, and so on and so on? She happens to make the most mouth-watering dumplings I’ve ever had. Don’t be jealous please.


Viv says:
I'm cracking up over this.  What a pot sticker stirrer this person is!  
I am half Italian, half Redneck.  I make an excellent lasagna and fab baby back ribs.  If someone mentioned they were looking forward to eating them, I would take it as a sign that they enjoyed my cooking, not that they thought I was some Guido (ette?) who somehow meandered through Texas.    


Mandi says:
When I saw Em's post I was totally JEALOUS.  Obviously Anonymous is too.  Comments like this that are soooo lame make me want to lash out violently. 

Oh my gosh, I just got the best idea!  When my Bro-in-law gets married I am SO going to say to the girl, "I see a lot of Burangos in your future."

For those of you jumping to conclusions about what a Burango is, let me clear it up.  Its a burrito at our resturant. 

Get your minds out of the gutter.

What do you say?

Yeah, I stole your stuff... You should consider it a compliment.

Stay with me. This only seems complicated:

Our friend Becca has a blog called The Texas Darlings where she writes about adventures with her sweet family and life in general.  She also recently started a new blog called R We There Yet Mom? inspired by her love of travel and vacations.  In order to help promote R We There Yet Mom? Becca started a Friday Linky Party called Friday Day Dreamin', where she asks people to link up an inspirational travel photo.

Becca (as R We There Yet Mom?) went to visit one of the participants and saw that in addition to linking up a photo, the blogger had also copied this post about facebook from The Texas Darlings and pasted it into her blog word. for. word.  There was no credit to or link to her original post anywhere.  Just one blogger stealing the work of another.  She apparently did not realize that Becca was the author of both blogs.

As politely as she could, considering the circumstances, Becca left a comment asking that the blogger take down the plagiarized material.

Becca wrote a post about the theft and received the following comment from the thief:


The Thief Says: First off let me say. There is a lot of unnecessary word slinging going on for something that was merely innocent. I have blogged for 2 years and yes with no comments as my 3 blogs are mostly for my family and close friends. Not so much caddiness from strangers like this. I understand now that you may be upset but also from the other side you should see it as a compliment as well. I totally agree with every single word you said and not sure I could have written it or said it any better myself. However, good call out on the “Guest Writer” thing I have never done that but for sure will learn how.  
I honestly didn't mean to offend anyone nor make a bunch of blogging enemies. I enjoy reading your blog and think by far you do a really nice job and we do think a lot alike. I would have called someone out too for borrowing my idea. Hell come up with your own. But really Christian people don't do that and it is stealing are you kidding me? Come on people I am a hard core Christian and by far never really thought of it as "stealing" easy on stones you throw around and the judgments one makes. It is a blog and we are grown adults here to share stories about life and make connections. Not rally around like a bunch of hateful little high school girls in the hallway at school slinging hateful words. Sorry that so many of you were so offended that was not the intention. I was only passing it along and sharing with my friends those exact same feelings that most of them do not even blog and have no clue who Texas Darling even is.. so I thought there was no real harm.

Becca Says:

I wish that I could see it as a compliment - and I would, had you just asked permission to use my words.  As I mentioned previously, I work very hard to maintain an enjoyable blog for my readers.  I do not take kindly to someone "stealing" them.  You.stole.them.  You did not "borrow" them.

As for my friends' reactions - I am overwhelmed with gratitude to their response.  As a community of bloggers, THEY supported me in a time that I felt very violated.  I do not see their remarks as "catty" & "high school", but as friends defending someone.  All of their comments were valid and worded much nicer than they could have been.

Yes, I agree that we are all adults.  But most adults that I know DO NOT steal.  And most adults that I know, apologize when they know they have done something wrong.  You did neither.    

In posting about it on my blog, I brought awareness to blogging etiquette.  My hope is that this is a lesson for many that stealing words from a blog, pictures from a website, facebook statuses, etc. may not be a criminal act, but it is defiantly a immoral one.

Viv Says: 

I'm a Christian.  I never heard of this thing where we don't say anything if someone does something wrong.  I've always heard "thou shalt not steal" and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  I have never heard "thou shalt sit there and quietly ignore the theft."

It's obvious that this blogger has no idea as to how to behave in the Blog Land, and certainly doesn't recognize the earmarks of plagiarism.  Ignorance is no defense.  Did she go to school?  What if it was an essay she copied from another student?  Would her defense be, well, that teacher didn't even know that student...?  Lame, lame, lame.

Seriously? The victim should be flattered that she was the victim...? Ridiculous.
***Updated to add: People! Anyone who thinks that Becca over-reacted is not thinking clearly.  Plagiarism IS theft.  It IS stealing from someone. Whether you steal a dollar or you  rob a bank, stealing is stealing.. Becca was polite in her request that the blogger remove the plagiarized post.  The fact that the blogger was unapologetic is a problem.  I am assuming since the blogger can read and write, that she must have some education... if so, she would have learned from an early age that it is bad to copy someone else's work and pass it off as your own.***  

Mandi Says:
Wow.  This is caaaarazy. One of the worst things that you can do is post something that belongs to someone else and not give them credit.  I have a hard time understanding why our blogger should be happy about them using her content without a link back.  Maybe the hater didnt know that its against all etiquite but her defensive response just makes it all the worse.

Moral of the story.  Dont jack other peoples crap.  And if you do at least put it on a private blog so that no one knows...


What do you say? 

Bad guest or bad hostess...?

Wow. I got some hate mail.  It appears these people don't know that I co-author a blog about mean comments!

I did a post called How NOT to set up a buffet & 5 things to make your next potluck more successful.  In it, I showed pictures of a really bad, really tacky buffet table set up.  I made it very clear that this was not about paper plates vs fine china, or a casual get-together vs Tea with The Queen... this was about hospitality and making your guests comfortable and welcome... (and not like they were an inconvenience for the hostess).

Not-So-Anonymous Said:
Wow. I am so incredibly shocked at how tacky you and Connie are. 
Hey about a blog about this..."How to make fun of your host." Oh wait you just did that. How about, or "How to eliminate friends." Oh, you did that too. Dang. 

Anonymous Said:
This made me sad. I usually love all you blogger gals for your sense of humors but this just seemed mean. Who knows what the circumstances were? I love hosting parties and preparing evertything just so, but I would never be this cruel to someone else who doesn't. Why so be harsh and judgmental? If you want to be totally Type A good for you, but don't penalize other, more laid back gals, because they want to get together with friends and family without getting the shakes! I hope the hostess reads your blog also...and remembers to strike your names from any further get-togethers, for fear of offending your delicate sensibilities. I mean really! Some people like the whole "idea" of entertaining, while others just like to get together without it being a "big deal". Take a deep breath, move away from the oh so offensive buffet, and just enjoy the company (if you can find it in yourselves to do that either).

Viv (The Slammed Blogger) Says:
hospitality (noun) - Cordial and generous reception of or disposition toward guests.

Geez people!  Really?!  
It's harsh and judgmental to think a hostess should put out a serving utensil for chopped fruit?  
I'm cruel because I want a spatula or tongs to pick up a hamburger patty?  
I'm tacky because I think it's gross to have trash and half eaten food dumped on the serving table?  
I'm Type A because I think the number one goal of a host/hostess should be to make their guests feel comfortable and cared for?  Seriously?!

Given the fact that one of these commenters has a blog with the words "Paper Cup" in the title, I figure I offended her paper product sensibilities.  Not my intent.  In fact, I clearly stated that I had nothing against paper plates, etc.     I never said things had to be all snooty and formal. You can have a casual get-together and still make your guests comfortable.   By the way, we did know what the circumstances were: it was an annual BBQ/pot-luck.  What bothered me here was a person who has been "hosting" a party every year since 1994 and couldn't care less if her guests were comfortable... put some care and love into it, or stop throwing the party.

In summary: if the fact that I don't want to pick up a hot, greasy burger patty with my bare hands, or pick up chunks of melon or pineapple with my fingers means that I am Harsh & Judgmental, Cruel, Tacky and Type A.... well, then,  I guess I am all of those things.   I will proudly add those titles to my Hostess With The Mostess resume` and will walk a little taller when I wear my Party Goddess Tiara.


Mandi Says:
I thought Viv's post was so hilarious.  I mean I of all people have all the reason in the wolrd to get offended when it comes to the paper products seeing as how I live in Utah's Dixie. 

Ok that was a bad joke.

But back to the post. I didnt see anything wrong with it.  If you have read Viv's blog or Hate Mail or any of her tweets or FB posts AT.ALL. you know that she is the queen of sarcasm.  Posts like this need to be taken into the context of the blog.

And I have to agree with the bare hands comment that Viv shot back.  Especially with the fruit. Cause you know people are totally more inclined to lick their fingers after picking up fruit than a greasy patty. And that my friends is not awesome.




What Do You Say?

Reading Comprehension... thrown right down the stairs.

Rachael over at Lovely Crafty Home was probably ecstatic when her stair makeover was featured at Tatertots & Jello, and then Apartment Therapy picked it up from there...  She should have been super happy.  


But then she had the hard cold truth hit her.  There are stupid people out there who can only look at pik-tchers and dey kannot reed two good.  There is no other explanation for all the comments she got, stating how ugly her before picture was, and why she didn't make it prettier before taking the photo.


The Hater Said:
No offense, but this looks like cheap marbled linoleum on a basement stairwell. I can imagine it maybe looking okay somewhere else... but not really. Just cleaning up the stairwell would have been fine. It was gross before.


What Rachael Said:
Rachael here...the owner of the filthy stairs...that will teach me not to take a "keeping it real" before photo...
To answer some questions, the poly I used is floor grade so it would be the same as refinishing your hardwoods. It is also easy to patch up though, and I've read many other stories that it wears really well.
It's also a great temporary solution if you are saving up for hardwood it can go right on top.


What Rachael Wanted To Say:
You know that when you start a sentence with "no offense," you're probably about to offend someone, right? I'm so pleased you were able to detect the fact these are basement stairs, therefore we do, in fact, take slightly less care of this area than we do our upstairs. We definitely take all our guests on a tour of our unfinished basement, just to make sure they grasp the fact that this is not living space. I am, however, not impressed with your reading comprehension. Apparently you missed the part where I explained that it is not dirt on the stairs, but actually the floor grade paint showing wear all the way to the mdf. As in, I already tried cleaning them. 


Viv Says:
Seriously!  We all have done our fair share of "skimming" a post or an email, or just looked at the pictures.  If I plan on writing anything more detailed than "Hey! Great job!" you can bet that I read the article or post before doing so.   You know why?  Because I don't want to look like a jackass....  
(BTW - It looks great and is a fab solution, Rachael! Nice job.)   


Mandi Says:
I totally remember this being on AT and I thought it was AWESOME.  Plus obviously the commenter doesnt understand the impact of a reeeeeeeally bad before pic to a reeeeeeeeeally awesome after.  Idiot. 

What Do You Say?

No-Baby Backlash

The lovely Jennifer, who writes Sunshine and Chaucer knows herself pretty well.  She's a young newlywed, and at this stage of her life... she and her husband have basically decided that they don't want to be parents.   No biggie, right?  She likes children... works with children... loves her nieces...  just has decided that she isn't cut out to be a mom.  


She's able to be honest with herself, which is pretty smart, and she was honest on a blog, which was pretty brave.


Jennifer read this post on Stitched In Color.  Readers were asked to leave a comment telling  what bothers them.  Jennifer was comment 170 of more than 400. In a nutshell, she said it bothered her when people try to talk her into having children and that they think she is somehow defective for not wanting kids.


Several days later, Jennifer wrote this post featuring great projects she had seen around the blogosphere.  It included a beautiful, functional play-room.  Clearly, she had offended someone with her comment on another blog, so they came to her blog to spread the hate.


The Hater Said:
As if someone so against having children would have one iota of a clue where children want to play.  Selfish twit.


The Slammed Blogger Says:

1. I'm not against everyone having children, just don't want any right now.  I'm 22.  I just got married.  I'm super poor.  Also, kids are great and all but I can't be around the for more than a day at a time or I start going crazy.
2. That has nothing to do with knowing what fun stuff for kids is and isn't.  I was a kid.  I have nieces.  I am two classes away from a degree in early childhood development.  I nanny.  I know what cool crap is.
3. Iota?  Using a word typically used by people trying to sound smart doesn't make your comment more classy.
4.  I've never got the whole "not wanting kids = selfish" thing.  Why is it better to have kids when you don't want them?  Why is it better to bring kids into a world where you can't provide for them?  Why is it better to make yourself unhappy so you can create a life that won't be sad if it never exists because it won't know the difference?  I don't get it.

I could say meaner things, about how pathetic I think you are because you went through all that trouble to leave a rude comment, because clearly my not wanting to have children deeply affects you personally.  But I prefer to keep the four letters words off the blog, because I don't think it's classy to cuss in a public forum in front of people you don't know, and also because 


I'm just so thrilled that my blog is worth a rude anonymous comment (and that I have something to submit to My Favorite Hate Mail) that I can't get myself to be hurt or offended.  I could not, however, resist commemorating it with it's own response.  I'd have emailed it privately, but losers don't leave emails when they have something rude to say.

Sincerely,
The extremely happily childfree Jennifer. 


Viv Says:


Jennifer, you are my hero.  It takes great strength of character to do what is right for you, even if it flies in the face of society's conventions.  (You know, that ALL women want to be mothers... etc.)  
There are definitely people out there who should not be allowed to have a pet rock, let alone have children.  It's sad that the commenter has more respect for crappy parents who should NEVER have had children, than she does for a woman who recognizes her strengths and her limitations bases her important decisions accordingly.
(I'm still shaking my head at this.  Seriously!  Unbelievable!)


Mandi Says:


Can someone say STALKER? The amount of time that peope have on their hands and the way they waste it never ceases to amaze me.  Miss Jennifer has all the right in the world to decide if she does or does not want children.  Cause once you got 'em there is no getting rid of 'em.  Its like people choosing to not have a dog.  Or a husband.  Speaking of which, does anyone want mine?  Dog that is, I like my husband.


What Do You Say?

Blandy BiPolarinski's Decor Tips

One of the most talented and sweet bloggers around is Myra from the Casabella Project.  She recently got a sucky comment on  a post about some interesting thrift finds that she took home and spray painted white. 

The Hater Said: 

so, not to be a hater, but i am not too impressed. who needs another cool looking thing for the bookshelf. and im sure they look better in person, but these pictures make them kinda shiny and overly white. idk, if i bought and repurposed every odd thing i saw at goodwill i might think that this craft was interesting, but to me, it seems just a little to pointless to compliment

The Slammed Blogger Says:

My thoughts:  If you didn't want to be a hater, then why did you choose to keep criticizing and being mean?  You made it very obvious that you didn't care about being a hater or not.  Didn't your momma teach you that if you can't say something nice, then it's best to not say anything?  If you find my blog content uninteresting and pointless then you are more than welcome to go somewhere else.  For now your mean comment just gets to hang out at My Favorite Hate Mail where mean comments go to die. The end.

Viv Says:

I've learned amazing things and been completely inspired visiting the Casabella Project!  This commenter is a total nut job.  I wonder if she is off her meds this week.

"who needs another cool looking thing for the bookshelf" ...? 

Um... I do, thank you very much. 

"if i bought and repurposed every odd thing i saw at goodwill i might think that this craft was interesting" ...

This tells me that you have no imagination and probably have trouble seeing the potential in anything.  In other words? You're probably pretty boring and not very fun at parties.

"it seems just a little to pointless to compliment"

Um. Yeah.  It's much more productive to nit-pick and criticize.  This is the verbal equivalent of the whole "it takes 500 million facial muscles to frown but only 6 to smile...." (or something like that.)    Lame.

Mandi Says:

It could just be me but I have found that my FAVE decorations at my house were random crappiness that, you guessed it, got a coat of white paint.  If this commenter really seriously has an issue with this then she should run away from DIY blogland and NEVER come back.  Cause that is something that you are going to find on EVERYONES blog.  Maybe she should try cooking blogs, I hear they dont use spray paint over there...

And really, you are seriously going to start a comment out with "Not to be a hater"?  That is the lamest lame crap I have ever heard.  Its like saying "Not that your wife is ugly, but...she has the face of a gargoyle."  Or "Not that you son has bad manners, but....he just crapped on my shoe." 

What do you say?