Saturday, April 23, 2011

Daughter’s Choice of Activities

Lisa @ Serendipity Chic Design received this comment after posting about how excited she was that her daughter did so well in a beauty pageant (see post here)

“No longer care to subscribe to the blog of someone who would allow their daughter to participate in this activity. Your right and all that but my right to stop my exposure to this skewed value system.
Have a good day!”
The Slammed Blogger Says:
Yes, my daughter does natural pageants. Yes, we have all seen Toddlers and Tiaras. For those of you who haven't, it is a documentary show of children and their parents being followed on camera the weeks before and of a pageant. They show the most dramatic bratty children along with parents who push their children to the limits. This show and some past stories have given pageants a bad name. Trust me, there are children out there who play the flute with not so great temperaments along with pushy parents. They just haven't made a show for this yet.

My husband and I are loving parents who revolve their lives around their children. We give them the freedom to choose if they want to do pageants, sports, modeling, skateboarding, chess, academic activities, etc. If they decide they don't want to do something, they don't have to. Our family is very open and we tell it like it is. (continued here)

Mandi Says:
First of all criticizing someone's parenting is just about the worst thing ever. If you read the post you can tell how much Lisa adores and is so proud of her cute daughter. Not every pageant mom is a white trash, 3 toothed terror that forces their kids to participate against their will like the moms on TV. And 3rd of all I always wanted to be Miss America but couldn't be because my mom was not awesome like Lisa. So there.

Vivienne Says:
I have a bunch of stinky boys who forget to brush their teeth or comb their hair, so I don't profess to know squat about beauty pageants. What I do know (as a former speech & debate coach) is that no one can be over prepared (or prepared too early) to carry themselves with confidence.

Anytime one encourages their child to grow in ways that help to build self-esteem, it is a good thing. Some kids build confidence with chess club, or baseball, or working on the school yearbook... Some do it by getting their first job at McDonald's... Whatever.

If the parents were pushing the kids to do these things and the kids were stressed from the pressure, that would be different.
The child wants to do it?
The parents are willing to encourage the endeavor?
pfft. Mutual consent. (In my opinion, a situation like this is the only way there would be room for that term with regard to my parenting, btw)

Bottom line assessment here? "Anonymous" has some deeply seeded trauma that causes an extreme adverse reaction to beauty pageants and anything associated with them, and they need therapy.
Or they are a Nosy Parker Know-It-All that needs to get a life. One of those, anyway.

What do you say?


Judy C said...

I begin to see why some people sign themselves anon. But I fail to understand how a blog entry can be so offensive that a person has to write something ugly. If you don't like it, just go on to another.

Jenn ~ Flea With Me said...

Like I commented to Lisa when she posted this: I always wonder why people who decide not to follow or don't like a post feel the need to make it public and in a negative way. Why not just move on?
It's called grace.

Jayna Rae said...

I concur with Jenn's comment above. Go silently into the still night. It is just better that way. If one just quietly bows out of the discuss then no one has to be exposed to useless, and undoubtedly pointless, words. As far as pageants go, well they are for those of us who long to be girly. I loved the idea of pageants when I was little. In fact, I ALMOST was in one once, but the cost was too much for my then single mom. I have a super tough personality, but I am all things frilly and lace on the outside. Love your kids!!! Let them be who they are. If they want to rock a pageant, then LET THEM!!!!

kamcicle said...

i'm sorry if i comment on every single one of these. stupid people just happen to be my biggest pet peeve at the moment.

why why WHY couldn't she just stop following? why was it necessary to send an email to let lisa know that she disapproved of her choice and that she was *gasp* NOT going to follow because she disapproved?

like, was lisa supposed to fawn all over her, say "no no that's not our intention" and try to get her to keep following? was lisa "put in her place" by knowing that this one person who she doesn't know?

and i don't remember reading that lisa asked for anyone's opinion. she was just sharing. unsolicited favorite kind...

i'm so bugged. i need a diet coke.

kamcicle said...

apparently i'm so bugged that i didn't finish this sentence:

was lisa "put in her place" by knowing that this one person who she doesn't know doesn't agree with beauty pageants.

there we go. it's going to be a long day.

Serendipity Chic Design said...

Thanks Mandi and Viv for sharing this. Of course I am over it now, but was so stunned that someone would actually write this to me. Like some have said, "why wouldn't you just stop following and leave quietly".....

I am actually laughing now that someone could be so ignorant....

Have a great holiday weekend everyone...


MiMi said...

I think the commenter is a dork.
But really, I've seen the natural pagents...and those are really cool especially if you're gonna compare em to the glitz ones.

Patti said...

Once again I am simply amazed at the freedom people feel to type their ridiculous drivel on someone else's blog, whilst sitting anonymously behind their computer. Would this person say this out loud? Doubtful. The internet can be such a POSITIVE thing, until it falls into the hands of a NEGATIVE NANCY! What a shame. BUT onward and upward I go... to encourage and uplift, which is always my goal with my blog and my internet interactions!

Erin said...

OMG! I love Lisa and her little girl is just adorable!! Who cares if she is in a pageant??? I know Lisa and she has never come across as one of those psycho pageant mothers, quite the opposite in fact. She is always kind, generous and just lovely, and I can only imagine that she is rearing her daughter much the same.

Sherri Spichiger said...

Just found this page today, so I'm a little late on this particular band wagon, but I just want to give Lisa a big high-five for her response. Why do people feel compelled to judge? I know how she feels as well. People often feel compelled to judge me because I don't have my 3 boys (ages 8, 7 and 4) in any kind of organized sport. They don't do football, baseball, soccer, etc. They do go to Cub Scouts and seem to love it, but that's it. Other moms I know think I'm crazy for not putting them into sports....I dunno, maybe I am. But my boys really haven't asked to join any sort of team and they seem to have a lot of fun just playing at home, so I haven't pushed it. Am I crazy? Am I ruining their lives by not dragging them to the soccer field every Saturday just so I can sit on a hard bench and watch them look for worms in the grass? Did motherhood become a competitive sport when I wasn't looking? Perhaps I should be listening to these ladies. Because, after all, I'm not a professional mom and I guess I need all the unsolicited, uninformed advice I can get! Sorry. **Whew** I guess I needed to rant for a bit. Ignore me. Carry on.