Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Spamilicious

The cute Jessica @ Mad In Crafts sent in this spam that she got.
"BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN Why American men should boycott American women. I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women? American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least. This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women. BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN! "
The Spammed Blogger Says:
Whoa there, Mister Obviously-has-issues-with-an-ex-girlfriend.  First off, I would like to thank you for putting all your dating red flags out there for the world to see.  If you really are cuckoo bananas, at least you have the courtesy to put it out there from the start.  Second, on behalf of all American women, I would also like to thank you for not dating us.  I would only suggest one change to your plan: In order to find your dream foreign woman, why don't you just move to a foreign country?  That's where they keep the foreign women, you know.  Good luck and God speed on your quest for true love.

And to all non-American women:  Sorry

Mandi Says:
I am so sorry everyone!  My ex boyfriend sort of went a little crazy when he found out that I am a bloglebrity.  Just ignore him and he’ll eventually shut up.

Viv Says:
I think this is a personal problem.  I think that Dudley McDateless here is right, but he needs to narrow his focus.  Dudley?  American women are more likely to cheat on YOU... to divorce YOU... to let themselves go because of YOU... to take half of YOUR money because of YOU.   (And they would deserve every penny... It's called hazard pay, Doofus.)   If American women are arrogant (I prefer the term, extremely self-confident, btw) it's because they have more integrity, guts, and self-esteem in their little fingers than you have in your whole, sad body. 
The mental picture I have of you?  You're sitting in a recliner, drinking a beer while wearing a wife-beater undershirt, scratching your privates, watching infomercials and wondering what the heck is wrong with women these days.... 
Why don't you stay off of amazing DIY blogs and stick to the things you know: bratwurst, beer and lottery tickets. 

What Do You Say?

21 comments:

Prudently Painted Vintage said...

LMAO at all of the replies to the comment, especially Jessica's.

Chris said...

This is one of the funniest yet....though so sad in a way. I love the McDateless handle for this guy.

Judy C said...

What? A man who doesn't like real women? But likes crafts?

kamcicle said...

funny, he just described every american MAN....

Jessa Smith said...

Yikes. Maybe instead of a blog, he should focus his intensity on...therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.

Kadbury said...

Thanks for brightening my morning once again... Unfortunate side effect of your site: I have a secret desire to get some kind of super nasty comment just so I can send it in and let you two comment on it... Much love! : )

~Kristin

Ashley Poulsen said...

Oh man, Hilarious! I pretty much love the crap out of this blog, I crack up EVERY time I read it. Good job ladies, this blog makes me realize on a daily basis that people are so nuts, but you've gotta laugh about it!

Amanda said...

Ohhh then I must be a catch! I have dual citizenship - born in England but a US citizen. Wait, does that mean I'm only half a catch? Oh well, I'm married. And this guy seemed so nice....wanting a woman to cook, clean and sleep with. I mean any woman who wants anything more out of the relationship MUST be selfish, arrogant and self-centered.

Sir, I vote that you are a D-Bag.

MiMi said...

Oh yeah. I love this guy.

Douchenozzle.

Suesan said...

I've gotten this spam about 4 times now. I wonder what that means? While I did "get fat" on my husband, that's sometimes a by-product of birthing 4 babies. However, my intelligence, faithfulness, chastity, maturity, generosity and humility are all intact. Sorry, McDateless. I'm one American woman who doesn't fit your bill!

scarlettred41816@aol.com said...

LOL I lived overseas for 4 years when hubby was in the service. Ladies there had these pretty little knives called "Butterfly knives" that they used on their men when they cheated on or abused them! The police kinda looked the other way and shrugged their shoulders like saying dumb ass, what did you expect?? lol I wont say where I was living so I wont start a controversy lol

Ems said...

I bet he wonders why he's single...hilarious!!!

Jayna Rae said...

I wonder if he pondered where American men fit into the equation. Their divorce rate? Their infidelity rate? Their addiction rate? Hmmm . . . I am not sure that they come out much better than the women statistically. Silly little man.

Erin said...

Well, I for one kinda agree with McDateless...obviously his ex-wife did a number on him and all while she was FAT! She is one heck of a woman if you ask me. I mean, she put it to him and good, so it just makes me wonder if it was his sexist attitude, his bias against FATs(that's right, we are a group now), his inferiority complex towards intelligent women or if he is just all around a loser. Ah, I'll cut him some slack and go with the rest of the group, he's just a hurt little boy in a man's body. By the way Viv, I resent the brats, beer and lottery ticket comment, lol!

Tallulah Eulallie said...

I once met a man at a party who was there with his new wife. They were celebrating their one month wedding anniversary. He described it as a whirlwind courtship, as he had only known her for three weeks when they married. She was Russian and spoke not a word of English. He spoke no Russian at all. I asked how they happened to meet. Turns out, he picked her out of a catalog. Yep, she was a so-called mail-order bride! He went on and on about how "foreign women" are vastly superior to American women because they are more subservient and know their place. The truth is, this guy is such a jackhole that only the most desperate of women would agree to a second date. (Oh, you know, like someone who needs a green card.) And yes, his Russian wife divorced him just as soon as she was legally able to do so. Guess she wasn't that subservient after all...

MeMeSue said...

LOL....I'm at work reading this and laughing my butt off! You guys are just too funny and PLEASE, P L E A S E...date foreign women and stay as far away from my daughter as possible....actually she would eat that guy alive!!

Kimbo West @ a girl and a glue gun said...

i got this too...and I loved it....described my husband to a T (expect for the unchaste part and divorce.)

Carly {Honey and the Moon} said...

I've got this spam post several times...so weird!

x

Aunt LoLo said...

Oh. My. Goodness.
I totally got that EXACT comment last year! Hahahaha I love your response!!

brittany said...

Ha ha he seems threatened by intelligent women it's sad. Obviously he is not a strong man and even the woman overseas will be just as hard for him to be with. All woman want is A REAL MAN. Not some joke.

Sherri Spichiger said...

I have the hiccups now from laughing so hard. I just discovered this blog today thru Centsational Girl and boy, am I glad I did! Luuurve it!